Me: uhhh i called you back!

Him: i am so sorry!

Me: hahaha its ok

Him: i was at a gathering of friends i left my phone in the car ahh

Me i just don’t want you to think i didn’t call

Him: no i know, and i hate when people tell u to call them and then dont pick up for them so i feel very bad

Me No it’s okay. we just sound like we’re married!

Him: lol oh danny boy boy.. 

I was just emailed by Patty Thom, head of voice at The Boston Conservatory, saying that the Boston Opera Collaborative is putting on Le Nozze Di Figaro (The marriage of figaro) this summer, and needs chorus members. This would be so beneficial to my career because The BOC(Boston Opera Collaborative)  is an emerging opera company and I could get my name out. Afterall, I will probably be doing opera after college if things go as planned.

I already told two people that I would audition for UrineTown with them in Hudson, MA. About a 45 minute drive north west. I’m no sure if rehearsals conflict, because apparently I’ll only have to attend a few for the opera. 

Should I audition for both?! I really want to do both. I wouldn’t mind doing so. Thoughts? Advice? Who am I even asking!?

Tonight, I performed 2 art songs in my studio recital at The Boston Conservatory. I must say, I was very nervous. VERY nervous. I couldn’t breathe well. I couldn’t shift my gaze from the lower curtain of the back of the Concert Room. I couldn’t fix my breathing from collapsing as I was shaking from nerves. I couldn’t keep my sound spinning and forward and supported as well as I could have.

I’ve been working on getting rid of my nerves and engaging in my performance for TWO semesters now. Why can I do it “perfectly” some days, and then have a night like tonight where I can not whatsoever? 

This also raises this other question- everyone afterward was like “great job!” “so good!” and I professionally accepted the compliments as a professional should. But why was it so good to them and so horrible to me? Why is performing so subjective and indefinite? Will I encounter this all the time on my journey as a performer? Because, it’s really killing me and my confidence…